Do you ever feel like you were made for something? Like the days and seconds are rushing by… and then all of a sudden our eyes meet. My eyes meet your kaleidoscope eyes and time starts moving in slow motion. That’s how I have felt every moment since I was 17. Since I named you. Since before I knew you. Since I started talking about you with my Mom and sisters, like you were already there. It has always been you.
Lucy Ann Hemphill. 6lbs. 4oz. – 19 inches long – born on January 11th with hair so dark and lungs so strong that I can already tell that you are a perfect combination of your father and myself, I don't know which one describes who though... That is where I get stumped each time I start to write this. It is so hard to express everything that happened, and everything I felt on to a blank page. I wouldn’t call it writers block… think more like – trying to get it all out, without sounding like I am on the pain medication still.
Right now... your eyes are rolling back in your head and you are currently snorting, like a little piglet - napping on my chest. Your brother just woke up from his nap asking for a cookie, and is now laying on the other side of my arm dozing off again. These are the moments.
A day and a half before your arrival, I knew. I knew the day was near – and I up and asked the doctor for an induction date. He picked Friday and it was Wednesday at 5:00 PM. I was happy – because I was so, so ready to meet you and kiss your sweet face. I was sad – because I would have to say goodbye to your sweet brother being an only child. I was tired – because unlike my pregnancy with your brother, I had a toddler who kept us up all night and a sweet baby inside that liked to give me water induced heartburn. I was feeling ALL. OF. THE. EMOTIONS. Girlfriend, you better believe it.
The morning of your arrival, I woke with a steady heart. I was nervous, because Hi, Anxiety. We got dressed, loaded up the car, kissed Mae goodbye and headed on the road at 5:30 AM for a 6:00 AM arrival time. Girl – the emotions ran high. Though I know now that this entire chamber of my heart would open in a few hours– I was so worried. Worried how I would do it being a mom of two, worried how I would love you both, and worry how your Dad and I's relationship would change because, you get caught up in life and adding another baby along with a marriage, a needy toddler and two pups who were still our first babies. But when we pulled into the parking lot, we unloaded and I got on the elevator – a wash of peace fell over me, and I knew we would all be okay. I think that was you. You have become the anchor of this rocky ship.
We made it to our room, Dad and I, and as soon as we entered – they got the ball rolling. Question after question, checking to see how far along I was, giving me an IV, busting the IV, giving me a new IV… and then before even the slightest bit of pain – epidural.
When the doctor popped in – he made a quick little joke about how he would see me before he left for lunch to “ get me my baby” and girl – he wasn’t kidding.
Stefany – our Nurse, was the greatest person. She was kind, special and completely made me feel like we were the only people in the world and you were the only baby being born that day, which you weren't it was a FULL HOUSE. She was, the light in the scariest time and you were at the end of that tunnel. She made me feel loved. The moment after the Pitocin was going and the epidural was in place we were instructed to just relax and rest, as much as you can during labor. I felt in control, but most importantly – I felt like my body knew what to do. This was such an important day for you and me, and I think this was just God saying, it’s okay – I’ve got it from here.
Not long after "relaxing", my blood sugar started rapidly falling – they gave me some juice gave me three bags of fluids and waited to hear your heart beat. It was strong – but inconsistent, I was shaking and completely scared. So, they put me on oxygen, turned all of the lights down and requested that I take a little nap. So your dad and I put on a movie and laid there until your grandmom’s showed up and not long after it was time to push – you were so real, and so close to being right in my arms.
I moved through dilation pretty quickly – there were a few students watching, it was a teaching hospital of course. And Stefany + the students were amazed at how fast everything was progressing.
It’s funny - like last time, my body knew when it was time. I called the nurse back in and asked her to check me – in the moments when you’re about to become a mom, again, even when you know it’s happening – you forget what the end goal is.
The next few minutes were fast and foggy. Lots of people in and out – everyone wanting to look, replace bedding materials, get your bed ready – everyone was moving around. Although it seemed like a lifetime – it was 4 minutes. 4 minutes of moving, waiting, bringing down lights, turning on the defuser and getting everything for you ready, then two pushes later – there you were. Strong, fierce, loud and completely mine.
Those first few moments will be one of the greatest memories of my life. They laid you down, your soft skin against mine, you were SO TINY - and we laid there. You cried, I cried, Dad cried… but you were there, and still crying. Sweetly building your lungs up and automatically nursing. Everyone was shocked. You knew what to do, you were here. We sat there for the longest time, your dad, Nana, Gogo + me. We just watched you, kissed you and loved on you. We loved you more than we ever thought possible. You were so special from the start. I couldn't stop staring at you.
You are three weeks old now – you have made the biggest footprint in our little family. You have changed my World. Your brother LOVES you, and keeps asking if you can walk on your own or open your eyes. He always said that you were his baby Woosey – and now everyone who comes over gets to see the baby that was in his tummy, you.
You have so many people in the world that love you sweet Lulu, people that will guide you and be there for you in every stage of your life. So many people that will make your life a little sweeter. You bring us so much joy and the thought of watching you and your brother grow and learn together will be the gift of a lifetime.
If I can make you any promises – I promise that I will do my very best to protect you from the things that made my life hard, but give you the chance to learn for yourself. I will pray that you never feel the hurt that this world can bring. I promise that I will love you, even when it seems like everything is going wrong and you will never be forgiven. I will pray that you trust me, trust me enough to tell me the hard stuff. I will help guide you in your journey with Christ, friends and family – but let you build your own relationships. I pray that you want to share all of these things with me. And I promise to always give you a place to call home. Whether it’s a roof over your head, a hand to hold or shoulder to lean on. I pray that my heart is your home, that you can't imagine being anywhere else. I promise to always be your lighthouse.
I hope you always know, you are special. You and Mason our greatest adventure and we couldn’t get through this life without you.
I will love you forever and like you for always.
XO,
Mama
Do you ever feel like you were made for something? Like the days and seconds are rushing by… and then all of a sudden our eyes meet. My eyes meet your kaleidoscope eyes and time starts moving in slow motion. That’s how I have felt every moment since I was 17. Since I named you. Since before I knew you. Since I started talking about you with my Mom and sisters, like you were already there. It has always been you.
Lucy Ann Hemphill. 6lbs. 4oz. – 19 inches long – born on January 11th with hair so dark and lungs so strong that I can already tell that you are a perfect combination of your father and myself, I don't know which one describes who though... That is where I get stumped each time I start to write this. It is so hard to express everything that happened, and everything I felt on to a blank page. I wouldn’t call it writers block… think more like – trying to get it all out, without sounding like I am on the pain medication still.
Right now... your eyes are rolling back in your head and you are currently snorting, like a little piglet - napping on my chest. Your brother just woke up from his nap asking for a cookie, and is now laying on the other side of my arm dozing off again. These are the moments.
A day and a half before your arrival, I knew. I knew the day was near – and I up and asked the doctor for an induction date. He picked Friday and it was Wednesday at 5:00 PM. I was happy – because I was so, so ready to meet you and kiss your sweet face. I was sad – because I would have to say goodbye to your sweet brother being an only child. I was tired – because unlike my pregnancy with your brother, I had a toddler who kept us up all night and a sweet baby inside that liked to give me water induced heartburn. I was feeling ALL. OF. THE. EMOTIONS. Girlfriend, you better believe it.
The morning of your arrival, I woke with a steady heart. I was nervous, because Hi, Anxiety. We got dressed, loaded up the car, kissed Mae goodbye and headed on the road at 5:30 AM for a 6:00 AM arrival time. Girl – the emotions ran high. Though I know now that this entire chamber of my heart would open in a few hours– I was so worried. Worried how I would do it being a mom of two, worried how I would love you both, and worry how your Dad and I's relationship would change because, you get caught up in life and adding another baby along with a marriage, a needy toddler and two pups who were still our first babies. But when we pulled into the parking lot, we unloaded and I got on the elevator – a wash of peace fell over me, and I knew we would all be okay. I think that was you. You have become the anchor of this rocky ship.
We made it to our room, Dad and I, and as soon as we entered – they got the ball rolling. Question after question, checking to see how far along I was, giving me an IV, busting the IV, giving me a new IV… and then before even the slightest bit of pain – epidural.
When the doctor popped in – he made a quick little joke about how he would see me before he left for lunch to “ get me my baby” and girl – he wasn’t kidding.
Stefany – our Nurse, was the greatest person. She was kind, special and completely made me feel like we were the only people in the world and you were the only baby being born that day, which you weren't it was a FULL HOUSE. She was, the light in the scariest time and you were at the end of that tunnel. She made me feel loved. The moment after the Pitocin was going and the epidural was in place we were instructed to just relax and rest, as much as you can during labor. I felt in control, but most importantly – I felt like my body knew what to do. This was such an important day for you and me, and I think this was just God saying, it’s okay – I’ve got it from here.
Not long after "relaxing", my blood sugar started rapidly falling – they gave me some juice gave me three bags of fluids and waited to hear your heart beat. It was strong – but inconsistent, I was shaking and completely scared. So, they put me on oxygen, turned all of the lights down and requested that I take a little nap. So your dad and I put on a movie and laid there until your grandmom’s showed up and not long after it was time to push – you were so real, and so close to being right in my arms.
I moved through dilation pretty quickly – there were a few students watching, it was a teaching hospital of course. And Stefany + the students were amazed at how fast everything was progressing.
It’s funny - like last time, my body knew when it was time. I called the nurse back in and asked her to check me – in the moments when you’re about to become a mom, again, even when you know it’s happening – you forget what the end goal is.
The next few minutes were fast and foggy. Lots of people in and out – everyone wanting to look, replace bedding materials, get your bed ready – everyone was moving around. Although it seemed like a lifetime – it was 4 minutes. 4 minutes of moving, waiting, bringing down lights, turning on the defuser and getting everything for you ready, then two pushes later – there you were. Strong, fierce, loud and completely mine.
Those first few moments will be one of the greatest memories of my life. They laid you down, your soft skin against mine, you were SO TINY - and we laid there. You cried, I cried, Dad cried… but you were there, and still crying. Sweetly building your lungs up and automatically nursing. Everyone was shocked. You knew what to do, you were here. We sat there for the longest time, your dad, Nana, Gogo + me. We just watched you, kissed you and loved on you. We loved you more than we ever thought possible. You were so special from the start. I couldn't stop staring at you.
You are three weeks old now – you have made the biggest footprint in our little family. You have changed my World. Your brother LOVES you, and keeps asking if you can walk on your own or open your eyes. He always said that you were his baby Woosey – and now everyone who comes over gets to see the baby that was in his tummy, you.
You have so many people in the world that love you sweet Lulu, people that will guide you and be there for you in every stage of your life. So many people that will make your life a little sweeter. You bring us so much joy and the thought of watching you and your brother grow and learn together will be the gift of a lifetime.
If I can make you any promises – I promise that I will do my very best to protect you from the things that made my life hard, but give you the chance to learn for yourself. I will pray that you never feel the hurt that this world can bring. I promise that I will love you, even when it seems like everything is going wrong and you will never be forgiven. I will pray that you trust me, trust me enough to tell me the hard stuff. I will help guide you in your journey with Christ, friends and family – but let you build your own relationships. I pray that you want to share all of these things with me. And I promise to always give you a place to call home. Whether it’s a roof over your head, a hand to hold or shoulder to lean on. I pray that my heart is your home, that you can't imagine being anywhere else. I promise to always be your lighthouse.
I hope you always know, you are special. You and Mason our greatest adventure and we couldn’t get through this life without you.
I will love you forever and like you for always.
XO,
Mama
2 comments
This is precious Shelbi!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, I love you!
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